Times are Changing.. So Are People?

So some of my  high school friends are asking my advice on friendship, and how do they know its a friendship to keep fighting for ;or if its a friendship that they should just let die. Being as i just ended a friendship with someone who I thought i was always going to be friends with my friends knew i was the perfect person to ask. In my situation i could have easily continued being friends with the person i was fighting with (which for privacy sake ill call her “Sally”) however i decided not to make amends and just let the friendship die which is easier said than done (espically because we are roommates!!) The reason why i decided to let it go was because this was our third incident within 6 moths basically, and it was extremely childish and i couldn’t take it anymore. It would have been so easy for me to go up to “sally” and talk to her and apologize, but the thing is, i didn’t do anything wrong so in reality i really had nothing to apologize for. Also in a way i felt like i’d almost be taking the easy way out if i forgave “sally”. I thought that it would be the easy way out, because it would be so easy to fall back in the pattern of being “sally’s” friend, and everything going back to normal. But what if i didn’t want it to go back to normal? I’ve already started making a lot of changes in my life (for the better) and the more i thought about it the more i started thinking that maybe our “friendship” was never a friendship. If you had to worry or wonder every-time you weren’t by your friend’s side if they were bad mouthing you, just as you had been bad mouthing another supposed friend as soon as she walked away, was it ever a true friendship? So in my  case i said “Let go and Let God!” because that’s what i wanted to do and that’s what i thought was best for me. Even though i know its going to be hard not being friends with someone you’ve been close with for a over a year now, I truly believe it was something that had to be done. So in my case i decided that my friendship with “sally” wasn’t worth fighting for. Going through this experience made me realize that i do have friends that i would never let our friendship die. It also made me realize its not about the quantity but the quality.

So that’s what i told my friends who were asking me for advice. I told them they had to weigh the good times against the bad times. They had to decide how much effort was put into the friendship ( i always said a friendship should never be like work, it should be effortless and fun). And lastly they had to decide if it was truly worth it. The last piece of advice that i gave them was that i let them know that if they decided to end the friendship that it wasn’t going to be easy, so they had to be 100% positive that that’s what they wanted to do before completely ending the friendship. I also let them know that it was okay to end a friendship, because sometimes people change for the better or for the worst.

until next time, xoxo

jadina

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